where am i from again
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
