just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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