She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
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I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
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constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.