Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(630): View more from Illinois

do you know how bad I want you right now?

(1-630): View more from Illinois

As bad as i want you to stop texting me?

(630): View more from Illinois

is that a hint?

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(630): do you know how bad I want you right now? (1-630): As bad as i want you to stop texting me? (630): is that a hint? http://tfl.nu/28x8

Replies (11) Good night (628) Bad night (3161)
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(818): View more from California

dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?

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(818): dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone? http://tfl.nu/1prq

Replies (10) Good night (497) Bad night (3500) Order T-Shirt
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(607): View more from New York

Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..

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(607): Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits.. http://tfl.nu/aan9

Replies (91) Good night (4809) Bad night (767) Order T-Shirt
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(770): View more from Georgia

I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.

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(770): I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected. http://tfl.nu/i708

Replies (17) Good night (4872) Bad night (885) Order T-Shirt
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(636): View more from Missouri

I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.

(314): View more from Missouri

Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.

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(636): I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss. (314): Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call. http://tfl.nu/9b26

Replies (4) Good night (807) Bad night (2613)
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(515): View more from Iowa

In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.

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(515): In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much. http://tfl.nu/n8ik

Replies (7) Good night (1775) Bad night (861) Order T-Shirt
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(214): View more from Texas

No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.

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(214): No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds. http://tfl.nu/2lul

Replies (42) Good night (1758) Bad night (6455) Order T-Shirt
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(917): View more from New York City

Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.

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(917): Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap. http://tfl.nu/690y

Replies (16) Good night (3511) Bad night (1205) Order T-Shirt
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(905): View more from Ontario

Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.

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(905): Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are. http://tfl.nu/m18s

Replies (2) Good night (2978) Bad night (705)
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(416): View more from Toronto

Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?

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(416): Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it? http://tfl.nu/zi0h

Replies (6) Good night (3536) Bad night (921)
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(803): View more from South Carolina

The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.

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(803): The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood. http://tfl.nu/3s7a

Replies (6) Good night (2113) Bad night (657) Order T-Shirt
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(805): View more from California

You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!

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(805): You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius! http://tfl.nu/013j

Replies (6) Good night (708) Bad night (1382) Order T-Shirt
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(217): View more from Illinois

Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way

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(217): Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way http://tfl.nu/0knp

Replies (9) Good night (2757) Bad night (497)
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(530): View more from California

So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?

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(530): So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right? http://tfl.nu/yok0

Replies (10) Good night (1339) Bad night (490) Order T-Shirt
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(310): View more from California

My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.

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(310): My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever. http://tfl.nu/d22o

Replies (6) Good night (3207) Bad night (355)

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