so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
