can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
These 31 Gross People Really Put The ‘Trash’ In ‘Trashed’
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
21 Bartenders That Are Definitely Winning At Their Jobs
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.