We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I want her autograph on my taint
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".