Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy