Moan for me like Helen Keller
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.