Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
No more Irish car bombs ever.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
