drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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