Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
You can't motorboat a personality
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I think I have vodka in my lungs
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Randomize