R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Randomize
