its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize
