I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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