He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
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