Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Found your dick twin last night
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
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