If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
