i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Randomize
