4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
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My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
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Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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