why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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