Nicole vs. Life
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
