can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
