omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
