I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
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