the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
