Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Found your dick twin last night
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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