You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
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