i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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