your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
