don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize