The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I just want nice things and good sex
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
