If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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