Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Randomize
