My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
It's shark week go big or go home
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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