I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize