i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
