I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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