Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
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