It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
