she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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