Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
