Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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