Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
