Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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