Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
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