i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
And then my night got REAL pukey
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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