im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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