Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
