Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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