everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
