I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
