Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
