Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
