You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
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I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
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BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I need a beard to bite.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
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