My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
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