can we get nightvision for the apartment?
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
