Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
