Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
