I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize