its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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