Texts From Last Night

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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.

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  (610): I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea. http://tfl.nu/nwna
  Replies (14) Good night (726) Bad night (1298)
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  (520): View more from Arizona

  I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.

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  (520): I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs. http://tfl.nu/4glk
  Replies (8) Good night (3032) Bad night (626)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  accomplished twins. life is a go

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  (651): accomplished twins. life is a go http://tfl.nu/t3ng
  Replies (4) Good night (4072) Bad night (532)
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  (607): View more from New York

  people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.

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  (607): people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome. http://tfl.nu/mqe3
  Replies (32) Good night (3667) Bad night (1063)
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse

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  (781): Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse http://tfl.nu/l7qs
  Replies (46) Good night (1004) Bad night (7653)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.

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  (303): Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners. http://tfl.nu/xe1g
  Replies (36) Good night (6893) Bad night (1104)
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  (856): View more from New Jersey

  i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself

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  (856): i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself http://tfl.nu/wqdu
  Replies (6) Good night (809) Bad night (2812)
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  (516): View more from New York

  you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.

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  (516): you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito. http://tfl.nu/qluq
  Replies (8) Good night (3332) Bad night (978)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?

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  (314): Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard? http://tfl.nu/d7iq
  Replies (5) Good night (960) Bad night (546)
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  (309): View more from Illinois

  I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.

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  (309): I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game. http://tfl.nu/d55q
  Replies (7) Good night (1083) Bad night (487)
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  (805): View more from California

  You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you

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  (805): You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you http://tfl.nu/2235
  Replies (5) Good night (394) Bad night (652)
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  (563): View more from Iowa

  smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.

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  (563): smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never. http://tfl.nu/qbl5
  Replies (6) Good night (438) Bad night (699)
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  (925): View more from California

  So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?

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  (925): So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*? http://tfl.nu/emo3
  Replies (12) Good night (499) Bad night (1062)
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  (309): View more from Illinois

  Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.

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  (309): Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements. http://tfl.nu/4ok2
  Replies (2) Good night (571) Bad night (343)
• Favorite

  (775): View more from Nevada

  He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!

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  (775): He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!! http://tfl.nu/5zy7
  Replies (3) Good night (817) Bad night (224)

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