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• (541): View more from Oregon

  Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."

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• (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom

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• (706): View more from Georgia

  Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later

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• (575): View more from New Mexico

  The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"

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  21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body

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• (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests

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• (716): View more from New York

  It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.

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• (614): View more from Ohio

  She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?

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• (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk

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• (615): View more from Tennessee

  Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.

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  27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst

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• (416): View more from Toronto

  Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.

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• (913): View more from Kansas

  Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.

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• (219): View more from Indiana

  Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone

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• (210): View more from Texas

  Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read

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• (248): View more from Michigan

  i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen

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• (248): View more from Michigan

  On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful

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