My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.