Can I ask u a weird question?
do u have the hershy squirts too?
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
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Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
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You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused