Texts From Last Night

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  (407): View more from Florida

  I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.

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  (407): I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum. http://tfl.nu/t1ss
  Replies (27) Good night (727) Bad night (5067)
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  (219): View more from Indiana

  talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?

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  (219): talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high? http://tfl.nu/47rp
  Replies (18) Good night (4961) Bad night (610)
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  (315): View more from New York

  when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'

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  (315): when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly' http://tfl.nu/2ku4
  Replies (6) Good night (3902) Bad night (949)
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  (501): View more from Arkansas

  Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun

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  (501): Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun http://tfl.nu/8fzd
  Replies (5) Good night (2719) Bad night (841)
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips

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  (920): I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips http://tfl.nu/g3ng
  Replies (6) Good night (3029) Bad night (979)
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  (716): View more from New York

  im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis

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  (716): im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis http://tfl.nu/d4eh
  Replies (11) Good night (2698) Bad night (1032)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.

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  (214): Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school. http://tfl.nu/ngpq
  Replies (4) Good night (3330) Bad night (649)
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  (916): View more from California

  whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door

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  (916): whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door http://tfl.nu/x1rj
  Replies (8) Good night (1115) Bad night (2061)
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.

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  (859): apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us. http://tfl.nu/vs1x
  Replies (18) Good night (3501) Bad night (753)
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.

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  (502): Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high. http://tfl.nu/rams
  Replies (0) Good night (908) Bad night (504)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.

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  (508): He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare. http://tfl.nu/rbhx
  Replies (3) Good night (1187) Bad night (554)
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  (307): View more from Wyoming

  A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror

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  (307): A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror http://tfl.nu/ozj2
  Replies (14) Good night (933) Bad night (529)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.

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  (678): She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away. http://tfl.nu/rg5h
  Replies (3) Good night (690) Bad night (234)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back

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  (860): Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back http://tfl.nu/64sk
  Replies (7) Good night (354) Bad night (952)
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis

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  (602): Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis http://tfl.nu/4x5t
  Replies (2) Good night (563) Bad night (167)

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