She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
