She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
