Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
