She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
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I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
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There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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