I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
