its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
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Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
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Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
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