Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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