4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
You smell like stripper and shame
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
