Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
