I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Randomize
